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is just fucked up. sorry to be so harsh, but it is. i think it comes from the Casual dating other person's own discomfort with *their own* feelings, and they're not considering how what they're saying might feel to the grieving person. it's amazing, the insensitive things people say. as my PSA of the day, here's a set of do's and don'ts that the world in general would do well to learn: Do’s and don’ts for providing support and comfort to an adult What to Do * Behave naturally * Show genuine concern * Offer patiently and unconditionally * Offer hugs or an arm around the shoulder, as appropriate * Sit next to the person who wants closeness * Make it clear that you are there to listen * Express your care and concern * Say that you are sorry about the loss * Say “I you” if you feel close enough * Talk openly and directly about the person who died * Cry if you feel like crying * Keep in mind that evenings, weekends, anniversaries and holidays Diamond OH bi horney housewifes can be extra challenging times. What NOT to Do # Don’t try to avoid the bereaved person # Don’t pry into personal matters # Don’t ask questions about the circumstances of the death; but do be open to hearing whatever the bereaved wants to say about it. # Don’t offer advice or quick solutions: # “I know how you feel.” # “You should _____.” # “Time heals all wounds.” # Don’t try to cheer up the person or distract them from the emotional intensity: # “At least he’s no longer in pain.” # “She’s in a better place now.” # “It was God’s timing/-.” # Don’t minimize the loss: # “Oh, it’s not that bad.” # “You’ll be okay.” # “Things go back to normal before you know it.” # Don’t lead the bereaved to the false assumption that self-medicating with alcohol or provide a solution. This is only a temporary fix for their emotional pain and actually makes it worse in the term
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